My blog has moved!

You should be automatically redirected in 3 seconds. If not, visit
and update your bookmarks.


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The time has come, the walrus said...

to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships and sealing wax; Of cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings. --Lewis Carroll

I have become a somewhat of a piece of fruit to the gnats of the troll world. Each day it seems there is someone else wanting to tell me how horrible a person I am.

Just this week alone, I've had three rather unpleasant trolls invading my space here. The first two were on the post that I read at the keynote. I guess my "stats" about the homeless were lies in their eyes...although funny enough, I don't remember giving stats. Mostly, I was talking about my uncle. I was informed that since a homeless guy killed someone recently, I basically am a liar. Interestingly enough, a friend of mine was kind enough to tell me that a man killed his wife in their home in the past week. Shit happens. (Heck people, OJ Simpson killed his ex-wife and her husband in BRENTWOOD no less, surrounded by mansions and he got away with it.) People are not all good. Not all homeless people are mentally ill. But see, I never said they were, I said a lot of them are. Which is true. Sorry that it wasn't technical enough, nor informative enough in regards to the homeless, but this isn't a newspaper. I am not getting paid to write. These are my stories based on my life.

The third, a comment last night, was on my post from May, when I told you all about my miscarriage in April. I am not sure why people love to attack on that post, but they sure as hell do. I'll quote this one, because it's highly informative:

"This is such crap! Morning sickness DOES NOT start until you are two months or more pregnant. You are a crazy attention seeker. Get help before you start to affect innocent children. I feel sorry for those around you."

Somehow this one kind of makes me laugh. Really, no pregnant woman EVER gets sick before month two? I beg to differ. But what do I know? I've only been pregnant now, five times. Ladies? Care to share how early you felt sick? Yes there are people out there who don't, I've had a pregnancy like that. Yes there are people who are four months before they know they are pregnant. But me? I know my body pretty dam well. Sorry if that doesn't seem right to you.

I am an attention seeker? Really? Hmmm. As I look back, I see that I didn't post for nearly two months. Yes, there are posts on this site, from April and May, but the majority of them were written by my friends, not by me. I said something...and trust me, I almost didn't say a word...because this is my space for one, but also because I wanted to explain my absence from the blog/twitter world. Maybe having a blog that is open to the public means I am an attention seeker in some way. But that means all of us are in some way. Maybe though, it's human nature to find a community of like minded people who want to support each other. Ever think of that? That the people who comment here are my friends?

However, and this is my main point in writing this at all. This is my site. My blog. My space. See, my name is written on the top there?

I am tired. Tired of defending myself. Tired of getting emails sent to my phone at 11pm from trolls. Tired of trying to find a way to make it where I don't accept anonymous comments. Blogger just doesn't make it that easy. I know I should ignore. You all say that. I get it. Intellectually at least. But I'm not that type of a person. It sits with me, days after I've deleted it. Frankly it sucks. If it continues, I will go a different route with comments. I just don't know what that means yet.

This is now a troll free zone. You are not welcome here. You have been deleted and you will continue to be deleted. However every time someone is an asshat troll here, I am keeping the IP address. If this continues, I will start publishing them. Just for kicks. Because this is my site. My space. My sanctuary.


Becky said...

you can totally block anonymous comments on blogger! i've done it before! and i had morning sickness at 6 weeks with livie. so screw them!

jen said...

i'm so sorry that you are having to deal with that ...
and morning sickness ... this pregnancy ... was my first indication that i was pregnant ... came a good week and a half before i got a positive on the test.
i agree with becky ... screw them!

Anonymous said...

Oh honey. Don't let the assholes get you down. Having gone through a divorce recently, I've had my share of these people. Comment trolls are everything they accuse you of being but are afraid to acknowledge in themselves. Shed their negative energy and focus on a positive reality.

Anonymous said...

If you want help getting a better comment system -- and yes, you can -- I will help you. Absolutely. Any time. Seriously.

And you don't have to defend yourself, though I can DEFINITELY understand how you would want to and feel the need to.

With my first daughter I had no morning sickness. With my second? I was sick within weeks.

I say track down their IPs, addresses, and identities, and send them a flaming bag of poo... except they aren't worth the effort or expense.

Avasmommy said...

Kick ass and take names, baby.

I haven't had to deal with them on my site yet, but I have wordpress, and I have to approve comments before they are posted. Doesn't stop someone from sending something in, but at least I can control what's published. It's my damn space. If they want to publish horseshit, they can get their own blog.

Anonymous said...

Time to call in the comment police and track the trolls down. I have no problem kicking some ass for you.

Blaugra said...

I looooooved your reading at BlogHer. Made me cry. I have similar situation in my family.
Most chronically homeless people have some kind of mental illness for sure. I've worked with organizations that monitor the homeless.

Those trolls can suck it.

Also, when I was first pregnant I felt bloated and morning sickness within 4 weeks(before I took a test and found out I was knocked up.) I think everyone is different. I miscarried too.

Lex - @laprimera said...

Ugh! Suck ass trolls!

You know that there are a thousand loves for you out here to balance out each of the crappy trolling, right?

And attention seeker? That's exactly what trolls are anyway!

You rawk, mama!

cindy w said...

I can think of a couple of bloggers who are attention-seekers. You aren't on that list.

Trolls can suck it. I know what you mean, I do the same thing - I delete it and then it continues to gnaw at me. Go ahead & publish who they are if it really pisses you off. That's what I did, and I haven't heard a peep from my troll since then.

kathygee1 said...

Well said! It is your space. Oh and btw, with my second child I had morning sickness pretty much from conception to birth. No lie!

Anonymous said...

You aren't the attention-seeker. The trolls are. And there's never any point in defending yourself because they don't care. You will never change their minds. They're mean, hateful and negative people who are so unhappy they have to spread their misery. Just hit delete because there are plenty of other people who love your blog and come here for your honesty.

Screw 'em!

heather... said...

With both of my pregnancies, I was sick before I even peed on a stick. So that troll can #suckit.

You know how I feel about trolls. I am so sorry you have to deal with them. Know you are an awesome person, and the trolls are sad, pathetic pieces of shit.

Kirsten said...

I will never understand anonymous trolls. What cowards. If you are going to criticize someone on their personal blog, have the balls to own it.


samantha said...

Go tell that douche that I was sick as a DOG when I was 5 weeks along. I'd also like to know that person's sources, actually. Gah.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I've said it a million times and I'll say it again. I just do NOT understand hateful comments. I mean really - it's a blog. If something angers you that much, then move on. If you want to have a thoughtful disucssion, send an e-mail. If you want to make a point for others to read as well, be kind and tactful. You don't go into someone's home and start criticizing! Anyway - I just saw the first comment and I think that sounds like a good idea. No more anonymous comments may be the way to go.

And for the record, I started feeling sick at week six in both of my pregnancies and it lasted far longer than the first trimester.

And who the hell tells a woman who just had a miscarriage that she's just trying to get attention?

I think that a lot of the meanies out there are dealing with jealousy issues. They may have experienced the same or similar things, but didn't receive as much support. Well - their bad attitude may have something to do with that...

Sorry about the trolls!

Fairly Odd Mother said...

OK, what an idiot about the morning sickness----the way I realized I was pregnant all three times was by getting sick!

And, for anyone to talk smack about your Uncle Marky post. . .listen, some people are really miserable little fucks and all you can do is smile in their face and keep on going forward.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Damn straight. Block them, delete them, just don't feed them.

There are some social deviants that feed off of hurting other people. If you don't even acknowledge their hurtful remarks and, in fact, DELETE them? They will usually find someone else to harass.

Amazing Greis said...

Screw the trolls. This is your blog, you're allowed to speak openly, freely, about anything your heart desires. I never understand why they continue to troll sites that they do not like or agree with.

Bridget said...

Do it...publish the IP addresses! We can kick troll ass! (But seriously, don't let it get you down...)

And yes, with my last pregnancy I was sick from week 5 to week 38. BLEH!

J from Ireland said...

Fuck the fuckers, I say.
I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. As for morning sickness, I started getting sick at 6 weeks on each of my four pregnancies, so bollox to that troll.
Best wishes.

butwhymommy said...

Sorry about the trolls hon. I don't understand people and I never will. This is your space and you should write whatever you want. If they don't like it, they don't have to read it.

Kari said...

Good for you! You should totally start posting the IP addresses!

I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with stupid people.

My message to the trolls: Issa is our friend, and we love what she writes, so leave her alone and go pick on another friendless soul like yourself!

anymommy said...

Trolls make no sense to me. You do what you have to do, bring them out into the light, it turns them to stone, you know.

Mrs. Flinger said...

Trolls can #suckit. I had morning sickness starting at week 5 that lasted until week 26. "Morning" sickness. That is.

And your post was so inspiring, I've recently been seeing the homeless man under the bridge by my house differently. He talks on his self phone. He goes to buy a slurpy. But he lives under the bridge by my house. Before I read your post, I didn't really notice him much. But now? I sort of peak in on him to see that he's ok.

So fuck the troll, babydoll. You're making the world a better place. :) XO

Maura said...

It probably won't be an issue now that you're changing platforms -- and good for you for doing so -- but I agree w/some of the others: publish the IPs of anyone who continues to bother you. They have no right to privacy when they invade your space.