My blog has moved!

You should be automatically redirected in 3 seconds. If not, visit
and update your bookmarks.


Friday, May 15, 2009

Guest Post: When two worlds colide

Today's Guest is from Stacey at AnyMommy. Stacey, for those of you who have never been to her site, is capable of making me (and most anybody) laugh and cry in the same sentence. (Read below, or read any of her posts and you will understand.) Also, she wins the best Tweet award for the month: "Most embar Seattle moment: Waiter: Ma'am, 4 u, a coke? sprite? Me: No, I'd like huge top shelf margarita. Blank look. Me: Is the bar closed?" For those of you who don't know her, she is like 32 million weeks pregnant.

She's a beautiful writer and friend. I tell her that she's a great writer, because she is, all the time. My only compliant about her is she posts really early in the morning and I NEVER wake up early enough to get any points. Because yes, her posts have points too. I keep thinking if I tell her enough times what a great writer she is, she might float me a free couple of points. But so far, it ain't workin.

But this post below is awesome and I'm blessed to be able to share it with you all. I have a post coming next week. With real words and all that jazz. I have more guests post coming too, but I am feeling the urge to write. Please be patient with me, while I find myself again. I hope you guys enjoy these guest posts, because I am loving them.

Different Worlds

She walks toward me quickly, with a huge smile, and hugs me tightly, "Oh, I knew you'd be here. I've been reading your blog. I think it's wonderful that you're walking for Maddie."

I am thrown off balance, stiff and awkward in my disorientation. The field is swept by a constant cold wind, but bright with sunshine. The purple balloons tied to my triple stroller dance crazily. My kids happily eat free doughnuts provided by the March of Dimes, their cheeks sticky and chapped red by the wind. She turns to them, her warmth and enthusiasm prick at my heart. "And here are Ess and Gee and Cue," she rattles off their names without hesitation. "They are gorgeous!"

"Thank you. It's great to see you here." I don't know her name and my brain is in a tail-spin panic. I should know it, we aren't friends exactly, but our kids went to the same co-op school in different years. We've chatted a lot at book club meetings. Also, she's lovely and I really enjoy talking to her. I should know her name in such a way that asking is not an option. It's more than just being poor at names, or being a social ditz, it's that some where deep down I feel I should know her the way she knows me, that I've failed some how.

I know she has a daughter a little older than my three-year-olds. I know her little girl was born prematurely and struggled to live for weeks. I can't remember her daughter's name either. She told the whole story at a quiet restaurant table with just three or four of us left after a book club meeting. That was maybe six months ago and I haven't seen her since.

She has seen me, though, here in my other world, where the mirror sometimes only lets people look in at me, as though I sit under a barren light at an interrogation table, gazing at my own reflection while those on the outside watch my movements for clues.

"I loved your last post, the one where you think about Cue at the pool while you're rocking him. It touched my heart."

"Thank you so much," I answer. "I love writing that blog, it means a lot to me that people read it." I want to say so much more, I want my three restless children and the windy field to melt away for a few minutes. I want to take her hands and lead her to a little table and buy her a coffee. I want to ask her, tell me, please tell me, what do you think about when you rock your little girl to sleep? But, the walk is about to start and the rest of my team is waving at me from the other side of the open space and all three of my kids are asking me something and someone is asking her a question because she wears a volunteer t-shirt. So, I give her another quick hug and surreptitiously wipe the strange, inappropriate tears from my eyes.

"See you later."


Marinka said...

Lovely. No one does this better, Stefanie. I mean, Stacey.