Maybe ice cream is magical?

Last night I received a call from my BFF at 8:49pm ish. She told me that I needed ice cream and she would be there to get me shortly. Any attempts to tell I her I didn't need ice cream were met on deaf ears. She was coming, I was going to get in the car and that would be that. You don't argue with the woman. I mean you can, but it never works out well for you in the end. Only I would argue with her about not needing ice cream.

Anyway, when she picked me up, she asked me where I wanted ice cream from and I replied McDonalds, for a McFlurry and she promptly told me she didn't like that and we were going to go to Dairy Queen. At this point I have to tell you that with anyone else, I'd want to smack them, but this is part of why I love Kate so much. She is just like me in this way and normally we fight over who gets to be the most ridiculous in our demands. Last night, she won, because I really didn't care to begin with and I didn't have it in me to argue.

So we drive to the Dairy Queen, which happens to be a drive-thru and start to order our ice cream. Kate tries to explain to them what she wants, which is basically taking apart three different blizzards (two of which don't exist anymore) and making one of her own. She explains it to the woman three times, each time saying it a little different, because honestly the girl has no idea what she really wants. After trying to explain it for the forth time, the woman, through hysterical laughter asks us to just please pull forward.

Pull forwards? Because hai, we have no idea what you want and um we need to look at you while we try and figure it out. I had tears rolling down my face at this point, because I was laughing so hard. Pull forwards? I have never had a single person say that to me before. When we pulled up to the window the chick could barely keep a straight face as she asked Kate to explain it. To make matters worse when they got it figured out, I said, I'd like the same thing, but with the truffle pieces in it. (Because who in their right mind, doesn't want the truffle pieces?) Then of course, we knew one of ours, if not both would be wrong. But it didn't really matter, because it's ice cream, from Dairy Queen and we'd both eat it. And yes, mine was right, Kate's was wrong and that made us laugh even more. I could just hear them thinking, couldn't you people have gone and gotten a dam M&M McFlurry?

I laughed; we laughed, for a good twenty minutes. I laughed so hard that I had trouble eating my ice cream because my stomach and ribs hurt from laughing so hard. I laughed so hard that I had tears pouring down my face, in happiness for the first time in a long time. I laughed so hard that for an entire half hour, I forgot that a week ago, I was still pregnant. (Although it was a week ago last night, that I wasn't any more.) I laughed so hard, that I forgot I was sad and depressed; forgot that my children were spending the night elsewhere, just so I could be sad and not worry them; forgot that I wanted to be at home, in bed, with the covers over my eyes.

In that moment, that small window of time, I remembered that I am okay. That I will be okay, that I will soon feel like a whole human being. That my heart will heal, like it has before. That the cracks will always be there, but they will fade over time. Sometimes laughing at...er um, with your best friend is the best medicine in the world.

Last night I dreamt about ice cream. Today, I woke up not crying for the first time in a week. Do I feel better than yesterday? Yes. Do I feel good? No. But you have to take it where you can get it. Last night, laughing was the best thing I could have done.

I want to thank you all for your comments. I want to hug you all for your kind words. I may email everyone, but I am having trouble with that, so don't count on it. Just know, your words have helped me more than I could ever tell you. Your support means the world.