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Saturday, May 30, 2009

Recipe Time. You know you want to try this....

Ok, so you all know that I don't cook. I say it all the time. But what you really need to know is that it is by choice, not because I suck at cooking. You know, say it enough and you will never have to cook. Actually I am a pretty decent cook and a dam fine baker. But only when I want to be. I have a love for seeing how long I can go without cooking a real meal. Truly, my husband would back me up on this.

Since we are BBQ'ing tomorrow night, I thought I share one of my favorite recipes with you. It may sound bad, but it is freaking good. So, here goes... Beer can up the butt chicken. And yes, that is the technical name.

What you need is:

1 whole un-cooked chicken

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

2 tablespoons salt

1 teaspoon black pepper

3 tablespoons of Mrs. Dash (or some garlic salt and whatever else you want to throw on it)

1 can of beer (The crappier the beer, the Coors or something.)

Ok, so start you grill. Or if you are like me, you make your big strong, manly spouse do it. Your choice. Let the grill warm up as you prepare Mr. Chicken. First you give Mr. Chicken a nice lukewarm water bath. Please, no bubble bath, even if he begs. Take out any giblets and remove the neck. (If you are squeamish, have the meat guy do this for you. If you ask nicely they will even wash Mr. Chicken for you.)

Pat Mr. Chicken dry with paper towels and then give him a oil massage. He will super love this. Wouldn't you? If he gets fresh, just smack him around a bit. Mr. Chicken tends to get a bit fresh.

Then rub the spices all over him. Think of it as aromatherapy.

Open beer can. Take a few sips, big sips, cause you only want it to be half full. Stick half drunk beer up Mr. Chicken's ass. Apologize.

Stick Mr. Chicken on grill. Balance him on the beer can and his legs. Cook for an hour and a half or so. Spear Mr. Chicken with a fork to make sure he no longer bleeds. When he doesn't, he's done.

Remove from grill. Take beer can out of Mr. Chicken's ass. Enjoy your chicken. Goes nicely with salad and grilled corn on the cobb.

Come back next time when we learn how to skewer Mr. Chicken. Loads of fun.

ps. I needed to move that post below down a bit, so I decided to break my no posting on weekends rule. Hope you all have a great weekend.


skyesofblue said...

Sounds great and an extremely funny read. Thank you for the laughs!

EatPlayLove said...

thank you for posting this, it's been starred in reader. Cooking a whole chicken scares me (leave it to my hubby)...maybe i'll give your recipe a try!

Anonymous said...

This is the funniest recipe I have ever read.

Kari said...

YUM! I'm going to try this!

Auds at Barking Mad said...

You made this sound so easy. And delicious.

I swear though, if there's any chance I can screw this up, I probably will. But at least it will give me awesome blog fodder...providing I don't maim myself in the process.

Thanks for this...I think!

debra said...

You should totally write a cookbook. I love the commentary. :)