At least it wasn't Friday

My extended family has begun to dread Fridays. With good reason, as every death in the family has happened on a Friday. In September it was my Grandfather, in December my Grandmother, two weeks ago, my Uncles Father-in-Law, last week, my Aunts Father-in-Law. Each one on a Friday.

Today my Uncle Mark passed away. My brother called me a few hours ago and told me. My dad is on his way to LA from San Fran and wasn't able to call everyone. My other uncle found him this afternoon. Most likely it was a heart attack. Three family members in two weeks. It may be an all-time record. But hey, it was on a Thursday, which although is not any better, we were starting to think Fridays were cursed.. Then again, there is still time.

I am, by nature, an optimist. Once I was even called an insufferable optimist. I have always been the, it's gonna be okay type of person. These days though, I'm having trouble not being a huge freaking pessimist. I had this feeling that it wasn't done, this pattern of people dying and I was right. I find myself wondering who is next. I was not prepared for who it would be. My fifty-four year old uncle; not someone I thought to say good-bye too.

Tonight I've talked to friends and family and each time I've told them all how much I love them. Life is short people. It's so short and there are no guarantees. I could live to see a hundred and God dammit, I want too. I want to watch my babies grow up and have babies of their own. I want to meet my great-grand babies. I want to dance with my husband at weddings for many years to come. But there are no guarantees in this life. This, my friends has become painfully clear too me this past six months. I am very painfully aware.

Hug your babies close, dance with your spouse, tell everyone how much you love them. We have to live like we will live to see 95 years old, because it's the right way to live, but we need to love like we won't. I am going to go all sappy and sentimental now and tell you all that I love you. I do, truly. You guys mean more too me than you know. I am so glad that you are all in my life.

To my uncle Marky, I will always love you and remember you. I hope you rest in peace.