Interview

My lovely friend Kim, over at When She Wore Ponytails sent me some interview questions. Basically the theory is someone asks you questions, you answer them on your blog and you get out of writing anything of substance. Which is great, because substance can be hard to come by some days. Especially on days like today, when I had an asthma attack the second I woke up. Not a bad one, but still not pleasant. The after effect is the worst though, because it makes me feel like I've been hit by a Mack truck. Where was I?

Oh yes, my interview. I guess the original deal was supposed to be five questions, but since I'm not big on rules, I just let Kim ask me whatever she wanted.

1. Name the one song that above all through all the changes in your life and everything really defines you. When you hear it you always think, "Yep, that one's for me." or something like that.

Sweet Melissa, by the Allman Brothers. Mostly because my dad used to sing it too me as a lullaby as a small child. Also now, this is the only time he thinks of calling me, when he hears it on the radio. But I still think of it as my song.

2. Your good friend calls you and tells you she has been dating your ex (one you like) and they're pretty serious and she wanted to be sure it was okay with you. What is your reaction? Would it be worse if it were a relative or the ex? Can you be totally honest with a question like that or would your husband kill you and put a hit out on me if we start walking down memory lane about your ex?

Well see this one is kinda entertaining. I've been with Logan since we were fourteen. the two boys I "dated" before him were not serious kinds of relationships. I wasn't really into boys until I was say ten years old and even then not really. The two, well one ended up being gay and coming out when we were about 16. Logan knew him and would not care in the least. The other...oy Nathan. Nathan and I used to play truth and dare under his trampoline. Ahem. So if, wait what was the question? Honestly I wouldn't care, although I hear he's married so that might be weird. Logan's not the jealous type, but bringing up Nathan makes him a bit odd.

3. The news finally reports something other than whether or not Brit Brit has on undies. What would be YOUR preference of story of all of the issues?

Hmm, how they are going to bring jobs back to the US. How they are going to start being smart about the Environment. Finding a way to have solar powered everything. Trying to find a cure for Cancer and AID's. Working on ending world hunger. Because I could honestly care less about who is and who isn't wearing panties.

4. Do you really believe that owl had a tongue? You know the one that would ask how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I mean, have you ever SEEN an owl's tongue? And if so what does an owl tongue look like?

All animals have tongues. I think. An owl has to be able to lick his wounds, or a stray um fur or what have you. So yes, owls have tongues. I've never seen one though and I wouldn't want too. But I don't believe one would care for a tootsie pop.

5. What do YOUR Rice Krispies say to you? And have you ever thought of telling them to fuck off?

I'm not a fan of them. They were giving me too much lip, so I switched to Cheerios.

6. I call you and tell you that you have to come try my drink recipe. Mine is shots by the way. None of this frilly stuff. But, I like others to make mixed stuff so I don't die of alcohol poisoning. Plus I don't want to share ALL of my secrets before I pass out. So, anyway, what drink do you make us and how many would it require before you were willing to sing some killer GNR in public. (don't worry...I'll totally write the words down for you)

First off, I know the words to more songs than I could care to remember. Ask me what my husbands favorite movie is (or car, or band) and I'll look at you blankly. But ask me lyrics to any song that I've heard and I can generally remember it. I figure half of my brain is filled with song lyrics. Now that being said, I am partial to wine. But I can make a mean orange dreamsicle...although you may still die from alcohol poisoning. Maybe some vanilla vodka and Coke? This is a good one to make for others. Because as they start getting too drunk, I start putting more coke and less vodka. No one seems to be able to tell and then you won't vomit on my sofa.

And hey, what secrets?

7. You get to school to pick up the girls and you see one of them kicking some boy. Of course we know you'd stop them. But do you secretly laugh on the inside that, haha, Kid. You just got owned by a girl. Or are your horrified that your lil one has "kick lil Billy" in them??

Yeah, this has already happened. Bailey is a fierce chick. At four and a half, I've had more conferences because of her, than Morgan in her seven years of life. I would stop it, but I'd be snickering too myself a tiny bit too.

8. Do you know why I could not sleep last night? And if you do could you please instruct the universe to never do it again?

Nopes. No idea. Too much Red Bull? Just a guess. But I hope you slept last night. (Kim sent me these yesterday, for those of you who are confused.)

9. How many questions can I ask before you fly over here and beat me up?

Um say, nineteen maybe. Twenty would have been going too far. I'm not the beating up type anyway.

10. So, all of your clothes are dirty and it's time to go some place. You can either kick it in sweat pants or you can just wear some dirty jeans. Which do you pick?

Depends on the day. And jeans are only truly dirty if they have baby vomit on them. I used to care about going out in sweat pants...it was like an unwritten law in LA that you don't do it. But Denver is much more laid back and it's common here.

These are the technical rules, if you'd like to play along. Just let me know.

Bored and looking for ways to pass your day? Care to play along?

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.