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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I swear the bitch was judging me

I went into the Target superstore this morning to pick up a few items. You know the usual, 2 dozen donuts, three half gallons of chocolate milk and 4 bunches of bananas. I swear to god the woman in the checkout looked at my stomach and then at the food 6 times while ringing me up. She didn't say a word, but she was giving me the stink eye. I can't even imagine what judgmental things were going through her head. Like, lady you might want to step away from the donuts.

I wanted to say, um these are for my kids day camp party today. I swear, I won't be eating a single donut. (Not that looking at them didn't make me drool, but I am here at work, eating my peanut butter toast and drinking OJ, no donuts in sight.) But I don't think she would have believed me. She was about this big (holds up pinkie finger to show the Internets) and she was totally judging me. I wanted to say, you know, one day you'll be the preggo chick. One day, you'll be the one with two kids and a third on the way. One day you'll look like a beached whale. You won't be a 19 year old skinny snob forever, it just doesn't last.

But I didn't, I didn't say anything. I left the store fuming and I went to work.

Sexy is not word I'd use to describe a 33 freaking week pregnant chick, no matter what the baby center emails say. The media however does. They show pictures of Heidi Klum and Angelina Jolie and expect all us pregnant women to live up to that. 99.9% of us don't. You know why? Because we didn't look like Heidi Klum to begin with. So there's no way we'd look like her, just because we're pregnant. Women are asked how they're going to lose the baby weight, before the kid is even born. It's just wrong and I'm sick of it. Whatever happened to doing what is best for your baby? Whatever happened to celebrating women for giving the gift of life? Whatever happened to the understanding that not all women are alike and we don't all need to look like super models?

I guess I can understand what she was thinking. I'm never gonna be like that, I'm never gonna be fat; when I'm pregnant one day, I'm going to watch what I eat and that won't happen to me. A lot of teens believe this. But she didn't have the body of Heidi Klum, so I doubt it will work out the way she thinks it will in her head.

I just wanted to shake her and say, when it's you, you won't want some punk teen judging you. You will one day be the hormonal woman wanting to shake someone just like you. So knock it off! But this isn't acceptable behavior, so instead I explained to my little girls why it bugged me so much. I explained it to them in words they could understand and I did my best to leave behind my attitude and one day I can hope, they won't be judging someone like me.

Because, she was so judging me. And this is the only thing I can do about it; try to educate the next generation. I just hope it will be enough.

AMENDMENT: (Ha, you can totally see what type of profession I am in.) In response to Alissa, I have gotten these kind of comments forever and I feel your pain. I have horrible skin allergies and I can't wear jewelry. I have a wedding ring, which I used to wear around my neck on a chain, but even that gives me insane rashes, which leads to bad exema and asthma issues. Gold, silver, platinum, it doesn't matter, I can't wear it. I've been married for almost 10 years and I get comments made about my girls being...whatever. Although it wasn't as bad in LA as it is here and I can only imagine how much worse it would be in a small town.


Piece of Work said...

Good for you for talking to your girls about it. And I bet you look fantastic!

Anonymous said...

Kind of like the lady behind me in line at the bank when I was 37 weeks pregnant with Drew. I had my hair in a ponytail (it was JULY!) and I wasn't wearing my wedding rings because my fingers were puffy.

She said, to the lady behind her in line, in a NOT quiet voice: "That's a shame, isn't it? To be so young and pregnant. Our schools really should do more to educate girls so this doesn't happen"

I was 27. And married. Hrrmph.

flybunny said...

I was a cranky pregnant lady and if anyone made any sort of snide comment they met the wrath of me and my lack of patience. You definately handled it far more gracefully than I ever would have!

Piece of Work said...

Hey Lady! Add one more reason you're glad you moved to CO: you missed the earthquake today. A big one, but no one's hurt . .

jennster said...

i think i just read 7 posts of yours at once. i'm sorry for your loss of your beautiful baby girl. but i'm SO EXCITED that you're pregnant and going to have a male virgo. ROCKING! :)

Grim Reality Girl said...

Okay, I want to go and smack that cashier for you!!!

When I was pregnant I considered sitting on and crushing those who judged or defied me. It's been 11 years, but I remember it well. Maybe I should start thinking about losing the baby weight....

As for the lady that Alissa dealt with -- where is she? I will crush her now!!! Where do these people come from?????

Rock and Roll Mama said...

Oh the judgey skinny teenagers. NOT cool. I got really mad at Barnes and Noble the other week when I saw a magazine cover with a celeb and newborn (I forget which one- the one who had the homebirth) and under the picture of th enew mom and her baby, it said, "Her plan to lose the weight!" There is something WRONG with that. Good for you for raising your girls to know that.