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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Things to not say to pregnant women.....

I stole this list off of MSN but it's so true. What's funny is that people think they are being so nice when they say some of these things.

So...was it planned? I always want to say, no, but were you? I mean really, if only planned children were born, there'd be so few of us on the planet.

30 weeks? You're still so small! Hahahaha, I've never gotten this one, I get the opposite. Are you almost due? You look ready to pop. Yeah, I'm gonna pop you if you're not careful. Never mention weight in any way to a woman, this is what my husband says. I think it should be a standard rule.

Speaking of pregnancy, did I ever tell you about my sister's 36-hour labor. Oy ve, seriously! These stories scare the crap out no of me right now. The 40 hour labor, the neither regions torn to shit, the breech positions needing to be turned, and my oh so favorite, the overdue baby. In a way, you want to know what you might have to deal with, but mostly these things keep pregnant women up at night. Dude, I've had kids, I know how it can be, but I still shudder every time I hear one of these tales.

Well, maybe next time it'll be a boy. This just bugs me. We're getting, oh it's a boy, you must be thrilled. Well yes, we are, but we'd have been just as thrilled if it was a girl. I've never cared on any of my kids. If I'd had three boys or three girls that would have been just as cool. A baby is a baby, you know?

Felt any kicks yet [said while placing hand on her belly]? Never touch the belly without asking. NEVER!!!!!!! I am hungry and I might just eat your hand.

[Insert name]? Really? Hmm, that's an...interesting choice. This is why we don't tell until the kid is born. We made the mistake with Morgan, telling family and we got so much shit. Oh that's a Hispanic name; oh don't you mean Mia; where did you come up with that? Not nice people, not nice at all. Now if someone is telling you that they are going to name their kid Apple or Moxie Crimefighter, I beg you, please say something. But mostly, it's not your kid, so be nice.

That's a decaf latte, right? Actually bitch it's not. I just heard this in Starbucks. Literally half an hour ago. Like it's any ones business. Today I decided that I can't do decaf anymore. I'm just not sleeping and I needs me some caffeine. So real coffee here I am, I've missed you.

Let me know when you're at week 15. I'm praying this one works out. I can't even go there on this one, but I got it alot in the beginning.

Yeah, babies are cute and all, but just wait until puberty... Um okay, we all know teens can be a pain, hell we all were one at soem point. But ti's not enough of a reaosn to not have kids. Because honestly 3 year olds can be worse.

Anyone have one they'd like to add?


Mrs. Chicken said...

The girl at the salon yesterday asked me if I was "having a baby."

No, you silly twit, I just ATE A VOLKSWAGEN!


Becky said...

yeah i got one..." you're telling people already? aren't you worried about things not working out?" i told at 4 weeks. its MY choice. of course i was worried but i also had faith that things would work out.

J at said...

I had people tell me horror stories of the FULL TERM MISCARRIAGE someone who worked there before me had. Oh god, NOT what I wanted to hear.

Another rule, along with never ask a woman about her weight, is this:
If a woman is wearing really cute heels, be nice to her. Her feet hurt.

Anonymous said...

That "touching the belly" thing? We DIDN'T PURCHASE A VEHICLE from a particular dealership simply because the saleswoman AND the financial services guy patted my 8 month pregnant stomach. It irritated me so badly that we left and bought a car somewhere else...and we've never been back AND I tell people not to go there because the service is bad.


Ali said...

ohmygod...when i was 21 weeks pregnant with emily, some random stranger asked me what week i was and then said "oh, that's the week i have my miscarriage" um, yeah, nice thing to say to a pregnant woman...

flybunny said...

Walked into the 5th circle of hell otherwise known as the DMV and the receptionist person asked if they needed to call an ambulance - are you fucking kidding me? Is there a child hanging out of my whohaa? Am I screaming in pain and/or leaking fluid? Then the answer is NO and I am not due for another 2 weeks bitch.

Sorry am tired and a little cranky

iMommy said...

When I was pregnant with my first, a [at the time] good friend of mine said, after I had told her the good news:

"Do you really think that's a good idea?"

My shock was quickly replaced with fury, which quickly replaced our friendship.