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Thursday, February 5, 2009

What would you do?

There is a small argument going around my house. It's also not being helped by my parents or Logan's parents. As we're getting nowhere, I thought I'd do what any brilliant person with a blog would do; I'd ask the Internets.

Here's the deal: In March, 3/3/09 to be exact, Logan and I will have been married for ten years. We were planning a four day getaway weekend to Hawaii in a few weeks. But now because of the memorial thing for my uncle, which will be right around then, we're going to put it off until April. Which is really okay, because my birthday is in April as well. Now though, we're thinking of going for a week to ten days. Maybe two weeks, who knows?

The argument is about taking the kids. I want to take them all, make a vacation of it. They'll be on Spring Break for part of it and I could care less about them missing a bit more school. We didn't really have a family vacation last year. Logan wants to just take the baby. You should know, if we'd gone like we were supposed to in three weeks, we were most likely going to take Harrison. I mean, dudes only four months. However, by the time we go, around the middle of April, Harrison will be almost six months old. My friends were planning on keeping the girls, when we went next month.

My parents and Logan's parents have other ideas. They want us to fly as a family to LA, spend a day or two with them and then leave all three kids with them for a week or so. They want their grandchildren too themselves, for optimal spoiling. They think we should leave the baby, that we are baby hogs and need to learn to share.

We go back and forth on this, we have all week. We are no close to making a decision than we were a week ago.

So lovely Internets....and might I say, you are looking absolutely fabulous today....what would you do? Bring them, just bring the baby or leave them all in the capable, yet spoiling hands of four grandparents?


Anonymous said...

Take them all - or leave them all - that way you'll either do it as a family or you'll be just the two of you.

PsychMamma said...

I would vote leave them in the capable hands of the grandparents and take some well-deserved and oh-so-rare grownup only time. Revive the flames of love (hee!) in a way that can only happen with no little ones interrupting/distracting.

That being said, I'm not sure I would have taken my own advice when J was only 6 months old...... It's hard to leave them behind.

I still think that would be my advice. Even to myself. And even if I didn't listen. :-)

Sounds wonderful, no matter what.

Maura said...

I, too, would vote to leave them with the grandparents and have the time to yourselves. You never know when that opportunity will present itself again.

As I'm constantly reminded, our parents are getting older, too, and you just never know if next year things are going to be the way they are now. It's as much a gift to them as it is to you and Logan -- it's important to take some time for you two, too.

Kirsten said...

Leave them all with the grandparents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jaden Paige said...

Hmm... this is a tough one, and in the end you just have to go with your gut.

I would agree with PsychMamma overall- but then I know that if it was me, I would have a hard time leaving my girl behind. So much so, that it might take a toll on our vacation- I would be constantly worrying about her, wanting to call her, etc. So I can't even imagine with a 6 month old how you would feel.

I'd say that if you feel like you'll be able to handle leaving them with the grandparents and still enjoy your vacation, do that. You definitely deserve some re-kindling time, and I'm sure your parents would love the time with the baby! Especially if they live far away. So that would be my advice... BUT if you feel like you won't enjoy your time without them, then take them along.

Anonymous said...

you should spend a few more nights in LA and visit your blogging friends.

iMommy said...

If you truly trust the grandparents, and feel comfortable leaving them there -- and you know that you would be able to let go (a little!) and have a good time just you and Hubby... go for it. Seriously. You may not get this chance again. And with three kids, including a new baby, I can tell you that EVERY couple probably needs a little one-on-one alone time that doesn't involve discussing the most recent poopie diaper and whether you think it might be the start of diarrhea.

So, if you can let go and have fun, leave them with the grandparents! If you think you'll be worried the whole time... well, take 'em all with you. :)

Lisa said...

I think the grandparents are on to something. You still get somewhat of a family trip. Maybe go to Hawaii for a 5 days instead of a week and spend two more days with grandparents and kids? That way its a family vacay and a couples' vacay.

I know its hard to leave little ones. But sieze the day (or vacay!) You never know when you'll get another chance at a couple's vacation.

Anonymous said...

i can't believe you would stoop to complaining when you can afford a trip to hawaii. it's just fucking rude.

Maura said...

You know what's really fucking rude, Anony-mouse #2? Leaving a spiteful anonymous comment to a post that was genuine and not the least bit deserving of your bile.

Let's see, I can afford a trip to Hawaii, too. So I guess that means I'm not allowed to complain about the problems I do have, just because money doesn't happen to be one of them right now? Is that how it works?

I am sorry if you're having trouble making ends meet right now, I really am. But bitching at the people who aren't in your position and who are willing to spend those hard-earned dollars to support the US travel industry just makes you small.

Christy said...

Holy crap leave them with the grandparents! Maybe make the slightly shorter like 7-10 days so you don't feel so bad leaving them behind - but I'm sure they'll have fun with their grandparents and who knows when the next opportunity to have an alone trip will be?

I'm new to your site, and this is coming from a new mom who just recently started getting more than 2.5 hours sleep in a row, and dreams of vacation are dancing in my head!

p.s. that anonymous hater comment is so annoying. Own up to your opinion!

Rachel said...

I am in no way judging those moms who vacation without kids, but if it were me, I would take them all. There's no way I could ever leave a baby so little for a whole week (or more), and I'd figure if we're taking the baby, we might as well take all the kids and make a vacation of it. The way I see it is that I have the rest of my life to vacation without small kids, but they're only babies for such a short time.

I'm sure you'll make the best decision for your family and have a great trip, either way!

Anonymous said...

I think if the grandparents are willing to take all the kids and you have a chance for a beach vacation alone with your husband, leave the kids as fast as you can.

Mrs. Really Long Last Name said...

let me know what you decide. I am curious. "Someone's" parents are the same way with C.... even if it doesn't matter that I'd prefer not to be w/o him yet.

anymommy said...

Take a break. Really. Go to Hawaii with your husband all by yourself. Let their grandparents love on them for a few days (assuming you trust them/think they can handle it). You could always go for a week and spend the extra time in California!

Think of it...your plans for the future mean not to many opportunities like this may come for a while?!

K.Line said...

Oh, I would be so thrilled to take a vacation without my daughter. Not that I don't love her, but the time, the space, the sex, the sun, the food, the leisure. May I suggest you leave the kids with their loving grandparents. In 2 days you will be having a second honeymoon, without a care in the world. Really!

Anonymous said...

Well, speaking from far away, I say leave them all. A grown-up only vacation would be wonderful, and the kids would have a blast...even the baby.

This is easy for me to say, however. Keep in mind that until Drew was 4 I never spent one single night away from him. Ever. I've NEVER gone anywhere without my kids. They have gone places without me, but I've never left them.

But Hawaii. Alone. Sounds fabulous!

mothergoosemouse said...

Me, I'd leave everyone with grandparents and enjoy myself. If I could leave mine with grandparents and head off on vacation, I'd be off like a shot.


debra said...

I would vote for leaving the kids with the grandparents. As a kid, I never had a better time than when I was being spoiled by my grandparents. And as an adult, I can't imagine having much stress-free time on vacation if I was worrying about kids in an unfamiliar place.

But you do whatever feels right! :)

MarvelousMOM said...

Yikes. I would have a hard time leaving the baby. I would probably chose to leave them all with the grandparents and enjoy some quality time with the hubby.

Becky said...

man if you're gonna bring the baby might as well bring them all! i'm all for kidless trips for anniversaries though so i'm biased!