Love me some pain meds

Half an hour after taking the pain meds:

Me: Hey Morgan what song am I singing? Sings: Together we can. Shoot the moon, stop the rain even ride a hurricane, If we wanna. Together we can. Walk into space, save the human race, do you think we oughta, oughta?

Morgan: The Cheetah Girls.

Me: I am, you're sure?

Morgan: Yeah mama. I thought you didn't like their music?

Me: Well now I love them! They are my favorite! Who are they again?

An hour after taking the pain meds:

Morgan: Mommy can I have a Coke?

Me: Oh sure dooode, whatever.

Morgan: Mommy I love when you are on drugs.

Oops. Hmm, might not have been the best plan to tell the chicks about that.

Two hours after taking the pain meds:

Bailey: Mommy will you tell us a story?

Me: Sure but a short one, cause Daddy already read to you.

Once upon some times, there was a girl, no two girls...and they went to a hoppin party, oh I mean the library...to meet some studs, I mean to learn about the life of science and um....they wanted to...oh where was I? OK so these boys came over and then they....you know what, it's too late for a story tonight. I love you, now go to bed.

Three hours after taking the pain meds:

Me: Honey, I think we should have sex.

Logan: Whatever you're smoking, you should share with the class.

Me: Babe the other day you were bugging me. Come on, it'll be fun.

Logan: Till I break you and have to take you to the ER.

Me: How will you break me?

Logan: Who knows? By looking at you for too long or something. Breathing in your direction maybe. That ship has sailed honey.

Me: Doooode. Did you know that the human brain weights like 6 tons?

Logan: Ok, time for bed.

Me: The chicks are sleeping.

Logan: No love, I meant you.


I feel kinda bad for my husband. But that dam pain med made me drunker than I've ever been. In fact, today I'm hungover.