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Monday, October 6, 2008

Two plus one = Issa will never be on time again.

This strange thing happens with a new baby. They are a great big time suck. They don't put their own shoes on, nor pee in the potty, heck they can't even seem to buckle themselves into the car. It's been literally years since I've had this problem. Bailey's four years old, she practically parents herself these days. I'm all for independence, you know? Ok, I'm kidding. But really, this get a new baby ready to leave the house is tough. And honestly, I suck at it.

Time moves much slower when there is a newborn involved. Yes everything takes a long time when kids are little. My girls are no different. But this tiny boy, dang he takes a long time. It takes me about ten minutes to change his diaper. This, is mostly because of my fear getting peed on. But also, I'm just out of practice. All the little rolls and creases and boy parts that have to be cleaned. Changing him is a laughing matter. Little floppy arms that don't just go into the shirt. This is the only time he gets mad. I'd get mad too if some crazy lady couldn't manage to get a shirt on me without needing a crowbar. Honestly, who in the world can't put their legs into their own pants? I mean come on now.

Every time we go to leave, he poops. Then he's hungry. This my friends, takes an extra 40 minutes. We're not even going to discuss giving him a bath. I needed a margarita by the time I had finished that the other night. Maybe two margaritas.

I am lucky, he's a good sleeper and an amazing baby. He sleeps for hours at a time, no matter what is going on around him. We were out for hours yesterday and he never woke up. He'd eaten right before we left and woke up to eat, the second we got home. Really nice and convenient.

But I'm an on time type of a person. I've perfected it, since the girls were born. I know how many warnings they need to get their stuff together for us to leave the house on time. We wake up earlier than we should have to on school days, because I have to say to them nine times, put your shoes on and grab your lunch. Where's your homework and yes, you must wear that sweater. I have trouble getting Morgan up every single day and trouble getting Bailey to put clothes on, every single day. Both of them are slow eaters. I know this, I've prepared for this; this is the norm at our house.

I don't know how to prepare for Harrison. He is unpredictable. I don't think I'll ever be on time for anything ever again. This pains me. Logan said something yesterday, because we were meeting people for lunch and we left 25 minutes late. I just looked at him and glared. I mean dude, come're the one who still wants three more kids. Imagine how late we'll be then?

Basically what I'm saying is this: If you want us to be there by 3pm, tell us 1:30pm and we'll be right on time. kthnxbi


LiteralDan said...

I am totally with you on this one. Though, to be fair, I am often 2 minutes late to things. Still, the kids make me at least a half an hour late to everything.

Which is rough when storytime at the library is only 30 minutes.

Elizabeth said...

When each of our kids were newborns, we always planned for it to take an extra thirty minutes to get out of the house to go anywhere! There's always something you forgot or the baby suddenly fills their diaper or something. You just have to expect it to happen so it doesn't stress you out!

iMommy said...

ah ha, Life Math in action! (I just blogged about this, seriously)

Well, if we ever finally hang out, I will certainly give you many hours notice :-) And I won't be offended at all if you show up late!

Becky said...

LOL i'm also an on time person and i know we'll be late for a while once olivia gets here because i'll have no idea how long it'll take me to get her AND hannah and myself ready. it's gonna be a challenge

anymommy said...

Uh huh. I haven't been on time in months. Or, I'm so ridiculously prepared and on top of things that I'm 30 minutes early. No winning!